If I'm Wrong, I'm Right
by SBoleyn
Summary: With Derek choosing Karen as Marilyn, Ivy reaches her breaking point and realizes some things she's not sure she wants to be aware of. What will happen between her and Derek?.. She doesn't know, right?


_If I'm Wrong, I'm Right_

AN: There aren't enough Ivy/Derek fics out there, so I decided to make my own :D

AN 2: This is my first SMASHfic, just letting you guys know.. I'd say this is a little AU, everything that happened in the show happened here, minus Ivy sleeping with Dev and the season finale; I'm taking it from there. Oh, and in this I'm exploring a slightly different side of Ivy.

AN 3: All the "She" that are in italics represent Karen.

Summary: With Derek choosing Karen as Marilyn, Ivy reaches her breaking point and realizes some things she's not sure she wants to be aware of. What will happen between her and Derek?.. She doesn't know, right?

Hope you like it!

_Only Fooling Myself_

_Derek chose Karen._ That thought made Ivy shiver hopelessly, it wasn't even the fact that _she_ was to be Marilyn, it was the fact that Derek always seemed to prefer _her. _Since little miss Iowa auditioned, it was like he had been put under a spell, an unbreakable one, in which he was bound to see _her_ as a goddess, as the perfect human being. And it made her, a woman who had been on Broadway for 10 years, sick to the stomach, how could a girl with little to none experience get _everything_ handed at her in a silver platter? _She_ didn't have to struggle for the role _she_ wanted, _she_ didn't have to face her mother once again after not getting the lead, _she_ didn't have to suffer with being _in love_ with the one and only Derek Wills, her so called boyfriend _and _director. Yes, the same that slept with Rebecca Duval to make her "confident" and was only doing it because it was his "job as the director of the show", the same that had just picked Karen Cartwright as Marilyn Monroe for the Boston preview, the same that had broken her heart countless times, in all different shapes and forms without even realizing it. But the thing Ivy hated the most about all this situation, was that she let it happen, she put up with it; you should be asking yourself, why?.. Well, because of love, she should know better, she should know that in this industry, in any industry, love doesn't exist; but she chose to believe it did and look where it got her.

That's why she did the show in Boston, like any professional actress would, put up with hours of watching Karen being the star, even stayed and watched as _she_ got a standing ovation from the audience, and then left. She went to the hotel and started packing her things; they were going back to New York the next day anyway. When she finished she decided to go out for walk, she didn't want to deal with everyone entering the room to change for the big party Eileen was having later that night, she knew they wouldn't even notice she was gone, or missing from the party; tonight was all about Karen, and frankly she was ok with that, Karen got the lead, _she_ should be the center of attention, and she wasn't going to steal the spotlight just because she was bitter that Derek didn't chose her, as much as she wanted to.

During her walk she realized something, something she wasn't sure she wanted to be aware of; she wanted to be the star of the show of course, anyone would want that, but since the beginning she wanted the one thing she doubted she had, Derek's approval. And it was only hitting her know, she wasn't sure how she felt about this, did she want to be Marilyn just to prove Derek she could accomplish it? Did she hate Karen that much because he seemed to worship her? At this point she wasn't sure, maybe her mind was playing a really cruel game on her, or maybe she was more in love with Derek than she should._ Wait_, she _was_ in love with Derek right? _"Ivy snap out of this, of course you love him!"_ she said to herself, because she knew she was only _trying_ to make herself doubt this so it was easier to forget him once she quit. Oh yes you heard her right, Ivy Lynn was quitting Bombshell as soon as they arrived at New York.

_ To Be Continued. _

Sooooo, what do you guys think? I'll show Derek/Ivy in the next chapter, PLEASEEE REVIEEEW!


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